Secondary Infertility Article in The Telegraph

The Second Time Around posted an artile from The Telegraph on Secondary Infertility. The article does a great job of explaining the pain, anger and guilt that women suffering from Secondary Infertility go through, your child asking why he or she doesn't have a brother or sister, and how friends and even husbands don't always understand what we're going through. It's a good read, check it out.

Here are a few tidbits that really hit home with me:

I can never switch off my longing while the baby buggy clutters the hall and the cot is obscuring the entrance to the loft. I cannot throw a single item of my daughter’s clothes away or hand it on to another family in case, as I so desperately hope, I need it again. So I hoard weaning spoons, disposable swim nappies, bibs, alphabet blocks and teething rings. When I actually steel myself to throw away an old steriliser or set of well-used bottles, I do so through tears.

Mothers such as Lucy and me have to suppress more than just our sadness – we also have to rein in our frustration and irrational anger when those around us appear to become pregnant easily and repeatedly, revelling publicly in their fecundity. How awful it is, they say, to be pregnant again so quickly after the last one. Gosh, I just have to look at my husband and I’m expecting.

'Ever since I had my son, people have asked, “When are you going for number two?’’ and I would just smile,’ Lucy says. 'The truth was that we started trying almost straight away but it has just never happened. When people ask now I am honest and say, “We can’t seem to do it this time round’’, and they often look uneasy – but I would rather they ask. Sometimes I fear that people who don’t ask think that I don’t want another one, and that is really upsetting. The other day I volunteered to hold a friend’s eight-month-old baby (her second) and although she knew I had a child already, she said, surprised, “I didn’t think you liked babies.” I love babies but sometimes I avoid holding them because it triggers tears.’